afraid

don't be.

just because u might bump into him, don't let that scare u.

just because u make a promise, kalau ada jodoh, to meet at the entrance of the event, do not hesitate.

just because u decided to end everything and let it over, don't feel bad n sorry.

there are no space to fill up with all the nonsense.

we just simply stop talking and move on. there is nothing happened between us.

well. ur life is cherished after u make the decision, right?

it maybe not like obviously wonderful. but u have the freedom to be real u, withouy tied-up with confusing feeling n caught-up situations.

at least, u can do whatever things u want, go places wherever u wanna go, buy anything u wanna have, save up for all ur missions later.

n obviously, do not have to keep the unsure burden to urself.

it's ok if in the end, u're not gonna get married. i won't be troubling others when there is only me who's left, to take good care of myself.

in terms of happiness, just let all the others that ruined mine to be happy. if karma hit u back, then u get ur part. if u don't, maybe not now.

i'm not saying i'm a saint either. just be optimistic n get real, for the things that might not happen.

i'm scared n i'm tired n i'm about losing my faith to believe in miracles. out of there's so many mistakes i've done, this is largest of all that unbearable.

if ever it will not happen, maybe by then i will be closer than ever.

closer to the creator.

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lonely

i do feel a bit lonely, here and there.

sometimes.

but i guess, if the good guy is not there, there are no points for me to proceed for marriage.

perhaps i would love to consider on being single for the rest of my life.

it's just that. it's hard for me to trust guys anymore. i don't know.

that feeling inside.

it's not that i'm gonna die if i'm not married right? even if i die, there's no one even care to bother right?

the efffect will just be the same.

no need to think too much lah.

posted from Bloggeroid

kereta mayat

the book:

permata yang hilang kini dijumpai

perasaan membaca?

i burst into tears reading this one chapter. no, it's not penyesalan dalam bidang agama. i am trying my best to improve myself to be a better muslim.

it is another story.

related to my life. my sad life.

the only regret that i cannot forgive.

it is hurt and being the most painful matter in my life. ever.

posted from Bloggeroid

chiang mai: day 2

bangun kemaen awal. lagi awal dari pegi keje oi! bersiap suma dah setengah jam. bekpes pulak sejam. nak kena kumpul pukul tujuh pagi tu!!

sebelum tu. time difference ialah sejam lewat dari malaysia ye kawan-kawan. tapi tetap la awal bebeno ha bangunnya.

another friendly reminder for travellers in thailand. only plug 2-pin jer yang ada in the hotel or maybe for the whole country. n for those yang dah biasa travel, silap besar la kalau korang expect ada iron kat hotel. yupe, none found here. so i terpaksa lah pakai tudung tak bergosok the whole trip! grrr..

today's destination is to chiang rai. the golden triangle, the border meeting thailand, myanmar n laos. on the way, menyinggah sejap in hot spring. panas gilo merendam kaki main air bagai. such a sporting me!

tak lupa menyinggah rong koon budhism temple (white/silver temple). no-photo inside the temple, tak dapat nak tunjuk gambo memacam caricature inside. maikel jeksen, angry bird, doraemon, keanu reeves dan transformers pun ada tu! surprising dak? mebi abit puzzle-ing. ahaks!

heading mae khong river. kitorang naik bot ke laos. jalan-jalan kat sungai tu macam kak long kawasan pula. bos belanja naik bot. yihu! beli souvenior sket n one thing i do admit, i cair sket dengan budak perempuan comel. definitely i bought stuffs from 'em dengan banyak. ohoi.

naik tebing, lunch. mr nob odi pack our halal lunch dari town lagi. a cake box' s packaging, consist of 1 sandwich cheese, 1 sandwich tuna, epal, telur rebus, pisang, air mineral, croissant n kek almond. cukup ha pakej. lengkap!

habis lunch, masuk kejak mae sai, beli souvenior lagi! baju n keychain gitu.

next, masuk northern most of thailand, sempadan dengan myanmar. tak beli apa lah sini.

balik pun dah setat running nose. singgah kejak kat jade place. i bought a red garnet pendant untuk mak. murah jela pun tapi. hmm.. empat ratus bath je.

sampai dah quite malam after dinner in another ruammit 1 branch. makan tomyam putih, sotong masak sos, kangkung ikan masin kot n ayam masak halia.

at first just me n chew je yang nak merayap kat local market. menghampiri, si faizah ngan eli pun nak join sekali. reached, tetibe suma perempuan men-join sekali. hamboi semua!

market ni ok, but a bit boring la pulak. asyik jumpa benda yang sama depan-belakang.

balik hotel naik lori kaler merah tu. bayar 20 baht sorang. tiup-tiup angin gitu. kalau diorang kidnap pun, sampai ke sudah kitorang tak tau nak kabo cemana. haha

posted from Bloggeroid

chiang mai: day 1

dis is the festaim kampeni buat.

dis is the festaim jugak i penah join sempena dah masuk alam bekerja ni.

orait la kan. trip free, ditanggung suma, sapa la yang taknak kan?

modalnya hanya renew passport n duit belanja sket. passport bayar rm 100 untuk 2 tahun. duit belanja pulak tukar rm 511 to get 5000 baht.

woke up late, rushing to the epot. mandi n mekap cecepat. sumbat apa yang patut. ikat tali kasut kat seat belakang. not too late reach epot. sebbek!

flight kuala lumpur to chiang mai, depart from lcct at 6.55 am. in-flight food ialah nasik beriyani. amboi, kemaen mewah. ahaaa!!

sampai epot, disambut by mr nob. check-in hotel letak beg, then heading to doi suthep buddhism temple. ada energy terlebih, i managed to climb all the stairs to the temple above n siap me-round lagi dengan eli, the pregnant lawyer.
turun the dizzy hill, lunch in muslim resturant near hotel. jumpa mr pillai dari melaka, keja laos lepak chiang mai. recommended to eat samkain of their laksa, the egg noodle. lebih kurang mi kari kita tapi lemak2 gitu. plus the ketiau sup. amboi sedapnya!

malamnya dinner in ruammit 1 restaurant. makan berdua, tapi hidangan can feed a hungry family yu! ikan kerapu sweet sour, ayam dengan cashew nuts, tomyam seafood n sayur apa yer? roselle for drinks plus buah-buahan for dessert. acane tak kembong perut. wah gitu!

balik hotel dan kekenyangan!

sampai tak larat nak merayap kat local market. ohoi!

posted from Bloggeroid

perati

orang kata, usia macam gua ni dah patut kawen.

orang kata, usia macam gua ni patut dah ada anak. paling kurang pun, sorang dua mesti dah berderet.

orang kata, usia macam gua ni tak patut la nak menapis bagai. kena terima je sape yang masuk meminang kekdahnya.

orang kata, usia macam gua ni tak patut dah nak jual mahal. karang takde yang berkenan, naya. hidup bujang lah sampai ke tua. kalau tak jadik andartu, entah-entah jadik andalusia.

orang kata itu, orang kata ini. tapi yang nak kawennya gua kan?

engkorang nak kenen-kenen mamat sana-sini ni, engkorang tahu ke macamana solatnya? dijaga ke idok? amalan kerohaniannya kuat ke tidak? kalau tak berapa kuat tu, dibuat konsisten ke jarang-jarang ikut arus lalang? dia ni everyday guy ke, every jumaat guy ke, every raya guy ke?

takkan la engkorang tak tahu-tahu lagi kan. bukan ke lelaki tu nak jadik sang imam. kalau tak lurus ketuanya, mau bengkok yang belakangnya ni.

mungkin gua sombong, yes. mungkin gua tak berminat, mungkin jugak. mungkin gua playing hard to get. tapi gua ni ada jugak mata, haa..sampai dua bijik ni.

perempuan kan, memerhati ni memang fitrahnya. untuk apa lah tak diguna yang dua bijik ni, kalau tak dapat melihat si calon suami.

i've been interacting with different kinds of guys and definitely, i do observe all these. yang mana percaya tuhan. yang mana beramal ibadat. yang mana kene ketuk. yang mana buat otometik. yang mana improving.

apa ke senang-senang je nak terima kalau dah terang-terang tahu perangai dan sikap lelaki tu kurang sesuai dengan kita? nak diharap lelaki berubah lepas kawen? ah kirim salam lah. takkan nyer lah. never. nehi.

ada pulak nak testing-testing macam gitu.

kalau yang baik budi pekertinya, memang lah calon menantu pilihan mak mertua. tapi solat dan amal ibadat pun kena lah dijaga. itu yang paling utama. kalau dapat yang lengkap atau ekstra pakejnya, itu bonus.

ewah engkorang ni. tahu lah gua ni idok ler baik bebeno. tapi, takkan gua nak kabor ke seantero alam kalau-kalau gua berubah menjadi yang lebih baik? takkan lah gua nak canang seisi dunia lelaki tang mana yang gua cari? takkan lah gua nak habaq mai reason gua tak kawen because everybody got a dark side?

man-man sikit lah kan.

kalau gua ditakdirkan tak kawen jugak, gua harap masih ada yang menyayangi gua. bukan lah gua harap yang si kekasih-kekasih bagai ni. ibu bapa, kawan-kawan, orang tua, mahupun budak kecik.

apalah diharap sangat gua ni berkawen. mungkin tak sempat agaknya gua ni nak jejak pelamin. hmm..

posted from Bloggeroid

tolak

ah sudah.

orang dok kenen-kenenkan i dengan orang sana-sini ni, dah kenapa semua calonnya yang badan besar-besar belaka? i guess like, much more bigger than abah pun.

memang tak la kan kalau i tak cukup find that guy attractive.

bukan apa. sejak bila mak ni jadi tak memilih? bantai je suma calon-calon yang ada.

kalau dulu, yang ni tak boleh, yang tu tak boleh.

ni yang i kenot brain much ni. belum kawen lagi entah dah banyak penyakit dalam badan, lagi nak suruh i jaga?

tak pasal-pasal pulak i kene bash free-free.

memang bukan i la nak cari penyakit sesuka hati. nak kawen, mestilah kene memilih. macam lelaki nak perempuan yang hot je, mesti lah i nak lelaki yang sedap mata memandang dan tak gemuk sangat.

ni memang lagi kuat la azam i nak jadik kurus!

tak payah nak suruh i cari pasal la dengan berkawen dengan orang yang entah sapa-sape.

kalau mati tu lebih baik dari berkawen, mungkin lebih baik i mati.

asal-asal nak kenen, lelaki tu pun takdak effort nak kawan, ingat senang ke nak kawen? eh, lupakan lah.

kawen tu komitmen. dedua pihak kena saling terima tanggungjawab tu dengan rela hati. kalau ada sikit perasaan terpaksa dalam diri, tak payah la. menyusahkan je.

i may be senang terima untuk berkawan dengan lelaki. but not to get married. call me a gamophobia or what, i have my own reason in not approving ones.

i don't simply can accept n dis is due to men's act jugak. experiences taught me. full stop.

posted from Bloggeroid

2 syawal

rasanya dah cukup tertib gua menjaga makanan sepanjang dua hari raya ni.

pagi raya makan tiga ketul nasik impit dengan kuah lodeh, kuah kacang, rendang sket.

umah maktam makan dua ketul lagi dengan ayam masak merah.

tengahari makan dua ketul kat umah ongkaye dengan kari ikan baguk.

umah nenek makan dua ketul lagi dengan kuah kacang kerang dan rendang daging.

malam haruslah tak makan. tido. pengsan.

esoknye, makan tiga suap nasik impit dengan lauk ayam sket.

menyinggah kejak kat setia city mall. here i overload tang makan kot. alot of sushi n chawan mushi. hukhuk. hipster sungguh berata di sushi tei. unfortunately, dia takde bento set la pulak cam kat tropicana. hmmm...

sistem perparitan memang poor lah kat sini dan segenap setia alam area mall tu. hujan lebat sungguh jugak. so dah cane?

malam makan bahulu lapis jem nenek baru, kerepek ubi pedas n wedges.

before malam, senanye gua timbang berat n guess what, it's just the same macam awal puasa. berat mebi the same, tapi shape ni macm kureng sket.

tapi lepas raya ni nak pegi disiplin swimming lah! i have to look good before pi chiangmai n #octtwtfest karang.

nak kene check la bila kolam renang bukak kalau gini. huhu

posted from Bloggeroid

duit raya!

tahun ni, ada rejeki lebih sket, so duit raya pun ada lebih sket kot.

my budget tahun ni ialah satu campur tiga kosong just for 'em.

mak abah wajiblah bagi untuk amount paling banyak macam tahun-tahun lepas kan. adik-adik, untuk yang dah keje pun tak terkecuali. adik lah katakan kan. atuk nenek di kampung juga. tak dilupakan yang rapat-rapat tu, ehemmm..ada la habuan sket di dalam sampul kuning.

yang best tu, ai dapat duit raya banyak gilo amountnya walaupun datang dari sorang si adik yang dah keje ni. hamboi hamboi ewah ewah tak?

ihiks! moga murah rejeki semua yang memberi dan diberi ni. raya tahun depan, taktau lagi. yedak?

selamat hawi wayaaaaa!!

posted from Bloggeroid

sailang

kecoh seisi twitterjaya dengan kisah sailang (kononnya) between nami, adek dan erica.

sailang = potong line = rampas gf/bf orang lain di kala orang tu masih berhubungan lagi.

kalau kapel tu dah putus, then ada orang lain kapel with the girl or the guy, whether mengenali atau tidak antara satu sama lain, adakah itu dianggap sailang?

i don't think so. i guess it's the best man win situation.

why do you think she deserves you? and what makes you think you deserve her? just move on already!

i guess if you love someone so much, you will make that efforts to make her stay, the relationship works. improve life, improve taraf hidup. kata nak bagi anak orang makan kan. dah cane?

people's patience tu ber-limit. once you've reached the limit, maybe he/she will stop and leave, and never look back.

orang kata, tengok diri sendiri, improvekan mana yang patut, whether berbaloi atau tidak the fight and challenges. iyedok?

posted from Bloggeroid

kawen muda

sana sini orang dok bincang pasal video 16/14 tu kan? gua pun nak jugak lah.

tapi malas la nak bincang pasal diorang. i nak discuss from point of view seorang anak yang telah bekerja dan belum kawen lagi di umur 27.

i believe on appreciating more on my hardworks. penat-lelah. kumpul duit. merasa susahnya hidup. pendek kata, no easy things in life for me.

and i believe on the importance of education and faith, to lead n guide u throughout life.

takyah nak sentuh bab kawen lom habes belajar di peringkat tinggi. kita sentuh pendidikan sehingga taraf spm lah untuk entry ni. tapi sebenarnya in reality, tahap pendidikan sekarang means until u grad from the uni, either diploma or degree.

berbalik kepada yang tadi. zaman persekolahan should be zaman mengenal awalnya dunia sebelum masuk ke alam pekerjaan. zaman yang masanya kene fikir pasal belajar jer n masalah-masalah pun patutnya berkisar tentang pelajaran dan kawan-kawan. supposedly in my opinion, ini bukan zaman nak cari duit (pada masa sekarang la), cane kalau peknen masa belajar, mana nak jaga baby semua tu lah. zaman belajar sepatutnya zaman yang enjoy gitu.

confused teenagers. kejap minat k-drama. kejap layan j-pop. justin bieber pun masuk sekali. tetibe najwa latif. kalau hempon pun boleh bosan dibuatnya, ini pulak orang yang nak dilayan, dipujuk, dibelai, dimanja. kalau yang kapel pun boleh putus bila-bila masa, kalau dah kawen tu, senang ke nak jatuhkan talak? aih. susah, susah.

sekolah menengah, bukan sekolah berasrama penuh. pelajarnya dari kawasan yang dekat-dekat situ jugak. ceritanya tentang yang itu-itu jugak. masalahnya berkisar yang area situ-situ jugak.

belajar baik-baik. dapat result yang power dalam spm. untung-untung dapat pi obersi. duduk negara orang. berdikari. tengok macam-macam pe'el, traditions, lifestyle yang absolutely berbeza dari tempat asal kita. orang kata, jauh berjalan luas.pandangan. untung-untung dapat kawen dengan si mata biru/hijau. manalah tahu kan. yedak?

bila dah mula bekerja pulak, hulo sket duit gaji tu untuk mak abah di kampung nak mendapatkan kap-ba-ro-kap-alip-ta-nun. keberkatan. kadang orang kata nak bawak mak abah travel all around the world baru boleh kawen ni dengarnya macam bullshit je. but u can put as this. our parent ni bukan lah menagih sangat nak merasa duit kita. nak-nak pulak kalau gaji diorang berganda lah dari gaji kita. tapi kita yang di pihak anak ni, hulo sket tu supaya mereka ni merasa lah sikit penat lelah membesarkan anak-anak sampai lah menjadi seorang manusia. tu je.

bab travel tu, like this la. favour them a trip yang diorang tak perlu pikir apa-apa for spending. kalau belum ada rezeki to obersi, yang tempatan pun boleh je. takde masalah. honestly, i have tried. dis mostly during my early years of working that i don't have a car yet. for a weekend spree of holiday in peninsular malaysia, staying in budget n comfortable hotel plus petrol plus toll plus food plus jalan-jalan sikit, it may worth plus minus of rm 500. that rate is dulu la, masa i takde kereta yet. that is my savings a month, everytime nak pi holiday. shah alam-kuantan macam tu. shah alam-perlis macam tu. shah alam-terengganu pun macam tu.

and it is fun. masa duit sikit, kita merasa. bila ada duit lebih pun kita bagi diorang merasa jugak. sweeter than that, using own money, dari penat lelah sendiri bekerja. isn't it wonderful? summore, bonding time?

dis is something to be thought before u decidw to kawen awal sebelum habis spm. i shall continue with other point soon. eg, kete, shopping etcetra.

tolong bukak minda sikit, ok?

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chance

everybody deserve a second chance.

aite??

we're not starting over, don't misunderstood.

just..umm..

not like before, no raising hopes.

restrictions unwritten.

terang dan nyata, lagi bersuluh.

#JanjiDitepati wah gittew~~

posted from Bloggeroid

ooops

it is on purpose and accidentally and ikut suka hati si sewel ni.

i did what i don't supposed to do.

takyah la terkezut sangat.

besides. am i even have any significant in ur life?

lulz

posted from Bloggeroid

puasa

so, azam bulan puasa tahun ni ialah tidak menimbang berat setiap hari.

dengan penuh segan dan malu, berat gua pada 1 ramadhan ialah 62 kilo.

so nanti, pada 1 syawal, kita akan menimbang lagi lah! will be a full month, maybe minus swimming. and that will start again after bulan puasa. insya allah..

semoga puasa kali ini membawa berjuta kerahmatan kepada diri kita dan keluarga.

semoga tidak malas dalam beribadah.

semoga tidak culas dalam pekerjaan.

semoga sentiasa beroleh ketenangan dalam kehidupan dan perhubungan dengan semua orang.

kiranya jodohku ada, tuhan kurniakanlah seorang yang menerimaku seadanya, bertanggungjawab dan diredhai oleh semua pihak, serta dapat membimbingku ke jalan-Mu.

tidak lupa buat teman-teman yang masih solo menghadapi hidup, Kau berikanlah pasangan yang terbaik buat mereka supaya tidak berseorangan sampai bila-bila.

aminnn...

akhir kata, quoted from discussion in capital fm. lapar, bilamana kita akan makan apa-apa sahaja makanan yang berada di depan kita. manakala cravings/mengidam bilamana kita memilih apa yang hendak dimakan.

sebelum terlibat dalam #indeksparam tahun ni, renung-renungkanlah bajet serta amal ibadah kita sempena bulan puasa ini. adakah kita berbelanja untuk makanan nanti mengikut nafsu, ataupun keperluan.

bak kata economists, bila permintaan kurang tapi supplies banyak, harga akan turun. walaupun untung bagi pengguna seperti kita, fikir-fikirkan juga, adakah untung bagi perut kita yang sudah seharian berpuasa untuk disumbatkan dengan pelbagai jenis makanan?

i am not a skinny girl. not really fat. or maybe some can say a bit plum. so today onwards, will try to reduce food consumption to reduce weight and soon to routine the swimming sessions to maintain/shape the body. and restricted to kolam renang uitm schedule, due to unmixed sessions of girls/guys and the working hours.

no need to brag. i'm just here to share, to improve myself and maybe improve u too. yes, you. the one readings my humble blog.

selamat beramal!

p.s: my weight almost all the time, will just be in the range. so nanti kita tengok lah! nak naik kew, nak turun ke. ohoho!

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ramadan 1

gumbiranya hati sumorang ada kat umah di malam/pagi 1 ramadan ni!

ayep pun balik dari temerloh. ajim pun balik nak makan umah. shafiq entah memang waktu balik kot. me n ika n pais memang penghuni setia umah.

what's less kewl on the morning of 1 ramadan?

i sahur. the one thing, i couldn't really do. menu nasik lemak separuh, sambal sotong, telur dadar mayonaise kot dengan ayam goreng.

n guess what? i rasa kurengggg sedap sket. dan selepas azan subuh sebelun solat subuh, during mandi wajib, i muntah. like almost all yang i makan masa sahur tu kuar balik! dengan banyaknya n macam taknak berenti!

cepat-cepat i setelkan mandi wajib n solat subuh n tweet about that. ramai yang kata sah puasa tu. even mandi wajib begitu pun sah. cakap ngan mak pun sah. cakap ngan kekasih golap, as always, ada jer yang nak bash nyer. huh, malas layan. i can easily get other opinions too!

aiyyooo~~~ i just think of making marshmallow lah. tapi maybe tak begitu sehat for cooking. hmm.. bila ni nak buat?

posted from Bloggeroid

pavlova

today's activity: pavlova delivery!

eh, before tu kena la beli buah-buah hiasan. yedak? itu yang kene invest banyak tu. bahan-bahan lain? nehh.. 4 bijik telur putih, 2 sudu tepung jagung, 1 cawan gula, 1/2 sudu kecik cuka, esen vanilla, whipping cream.

so me n ika bought strawberries, anggur hitam dan anggur hijau. kos, dalam tigapuluh hengget la jugak ni.

ehemmm...



yang ni lah! mak n mine, combined, dapat 14 bekas abc tu plus for ika dengan stoberi whipping cream. fuyoh fuyoh!!

so siapa yang bertuah kali ni??

first deliberi ke umah ialah ikar dan tiqah di seksyen 8. hulo lah dua sekali, si tiqah dapat nyer malam-malam sket. then, suh bebudak zai turun sat amik kat bawah. pun 2 bekas jugak.

menghala ke federal. singgah ke umah sharlina kat sunway, lepak minum sat. ohoi! dapat nenas dari johor yaw~~ eh, baidewei tadi si ikar bagi sebekas kuih kapit!

jumpa pulak si adek, rearrange dan uculer di old town white coffee sunway to give another one.

heading back to subang hulo ke reeney terfaktab selai. umah tak jauh dengan carrefour near ktm tu, tapi pusing jugak la sebab one-way. sian dia dedemam turun jugak.

next! jumpa noti depan area ss15 ke something namanya. alah, area uya distro dulu tu. wow! naik mini cooper tuuu.. she gave me kerepek from johor, jugak sehelai tudung dan sekotak fresh orange.

balik lah guwe dengan hasil tangkapan!

it's just my small gestures on appreciating friendships, for friends and with friends. untuk orang-orang tersayang, apatah lagi. sanggup bawak dari selangor merentas negeri, whether naik kete, bas atau kapal terbang. ehemm..

masak dengan kasih sayang. that's the only time, i will masak. becoz most of my time, i don't stay in the kitchen for a long time.

oh. bahan-bahan tertulis kat atas tadi, itu untuk satu adunan yer. hehe..

original recipe is from foodwishes.com.

really looking forward for geng titap makan lepas raya kang. or mebi sri muda clans during puasa kot. gonna bake summore cakes later!

sape yang kata baking tu senang, itu memang silap besar la weh~ pis!

posted from Bloggeroid

shock!

u scare the hella shit of me, everytime u speak.

ingat i tak takut ke?

last time cakap i'm gonna get cancer. it will be either breast or cervix.

next my period circulation. tot me peknen? helo. i did not do that thing okey? and i don't meet guys dalam masa terdekat and i don't simply let people touch me. gila ke hapa?

orang minyak? mengandungkan anak bunian? jangan lah. i'm not yet married and nak mengandung pelik-pelik pulak? bukan u sendiri yang cakap i susah gila nak peknen? then senang lah orang minyak, bunian bagai tu nak peknenkan i?

i am just period teruk. maybe nak kuar. maybe taknak kuar. lantak dia lah nak kuar ke taknak. as long as i know, i didn't do with anyone, then how the hell i can get pregnant?

and dis month is worse. sepatutnya it shall stop before puasa. tapi ni dah nak dekat puasa pun belum kuar lagi. dan yang paling penting ialah sakit.

i tak suka membuang dan i tak suka sakit perut. dah macamana kalau selalu sakit perut, selalu nak pegi toilet tapi tak membuang? selalu sakit macam senggugut, tapi tak period? it's macam orang tarik la perut u.

i know i have the potential okey? u doesn't always have to remind me. in fact, it's developing. mungkin lama-lama boleh jadi tumor and lead to cancer, i don't know.

just imagine.

normal perempuan period tiap-tiap bulan, mungkin boleh habiskan a pack of 20 pieces of pads. means banyak darah.

and me? nak pakai pad pun boleh kira dengan jari. almost pakai pantyliner je on my period days. hari, lagi lah boleh kira berapa. tak masuk lagi long intervals of period pause. maybe kuar harini sikit, minggu depan baru sambung. dibaca, where is the darah kotor? orang lain suma keluar, and i didn't. so where is the darah kotor? masuk balik dalam badan i and becoming toxic to the body kan?

see how complicated my body works? can i hurt other people, if it happens that somebody want to marry me?

it's better this way kan? nobody knows. nobody cares. if ever i sakit, it's just me and my body. takyah susahkan orang lain for taking care.

stop all this story. you know where you stand in people's heart. nowhere to be exact lah. lulz.

posted from Bloggeroid

sedih

there's always that one news that gonna rock my world, in once-a-while.

like that news, that particular one macam nak gugur jantung. the only news that i rasa tak layak hidup, from that moments onward.

like the fact that i'm not gonna get a baby when i got married due my womb n my period circulation whatever.

like the thing like hormones will rise up if i don't get married soon n guess what, i will get cancer either the.cervical or breast ones.

tell me. if you get this statements in life, do you still think it's still worth to live?

is it worth to find a boyfriend or even to get married? to get babies? or mandul?

what do you think my purpose of life will be? to be dead when i reached a certain age in life? to be prepared? to not live my life, the way that i want to?

cukup la the one news, cukup terseksa jiwa raga i. n now tambah lagi dengan news lain?

no wonder i love hospitals so much. guess that will be the place that my life will be taken soon?

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jodoh

kalau ada jodoh kita,

meet me on the entrance of #octtwtfest by 10pm.

i'll bring along any kopi of my choice,

and we'll talk.

sure it will be a lil' bit awkward…

but urghh, nevermind.

i'll be meeting you again, as friend.

only friend.

posted from Bloggeroid

exam

i already learned this new things in my life for 6 months now.

supposedly to take the on-demand exam on this 7 july.

i just don't think if i ready to sit.

with so many problems, and so many things in mind. i couldn't even get to be calm to study. this is so terrible that it sucked all my energy and none left for my education. in daily basis pulak tu.

once everything settled, and i hope it does and will be. i'm going back to study on my own and to take the exam. preferably by next year.

diploma class? kacau masa maghrib la. i don't think nak meng-qadha sepanjang tiga belas bulan tu. seminggu tiga kali kelas pulak tu. ishhh.

i hope i can get everything back to study. my spirit. my body. my soul. and my mind.

fighting!

posted from Bloggeroid

hands

tetibe tengok citer sex and the city two ni.

watching carrie cium tangan big lepas dia rasa bersalah sangat kissing aidan in abu dhabi.

hati terusik dengan perlakuan tu.

i remember me n encik g. entah lah.

mungkin tu je kot yang i suka.

have someone to hold me n i can hold his hands n not too worry about anything too much.

maklum dah kan i memang not really into dia marriage n beranak thingy.

but dis kinda something.

hmm..

posted from Bloggeroid

why bother?

RT @BoyFacts: If he misses you, he'll call. If he wants you, he'll say it. If he cares, he'll show it. And if not, he can't be worth your time..

if he doesn't like, give a damn about you. then? you better leave and don't give a damn about him too.

i guess.

he has other alternatives to contact me, but he just don't care. i'm not worth for his attention.

so, why bother?

posted from Bloggeroid

passport

nowadays dah bukan on the day itself after 2 hours dah collection passport ni. mine took 7 days for this purpose.

currently immigresen shah alam is upgrading their system. eh, eceli the whole selangor kot. and so, affected la gittew.

nasib la korang di opis for delaying tempah tiket for the obersi company trip. hoho..

next monday gonna give the passport and takmboh pikir dah. lantak leww~~

current decision of trip ialah chiang mai, thailand. dunno la still stick ke situ tak nanti bila nak book tiket kang.

tak kesah la memane pun. all-expenses jaga kan. by december i'm gonna go beijing pulak. hopefully nanti bebila dapat pegi cop passport lagi.

oh, hujung tahun depan nak pi singapore. jadik chaperon kat universal studio. hoyeh~~

posted from Bloggeroid

tribute bgj 2669

ahaaaaaaaaa!!!



ni la training car kiter!!

festaim drive kete ni masa lom amik lesen pun lagi masa kiter form 5, beberapa hari lepas dia kuar dari kilang, selepas diajak oleh ucu!!

penah eksidenkan kete ni kat kuala selangor, dengan adik-adik yang ramai dalam keter with no money.

2 kali habes bateri. first near baker's cottage seksyen 18 shah alam malam-malam. seken sebab bukak ekon without engine running near section 17 petaling jaya. what people don't really know, i was over the phone, talking about the new car. haruslah keter merajuk!

msu time, where i tried to drive alone pi balik kejer. during dat time, i am quite trauma to drive due to eksiden time bila ntah. abah pun dah pencen n taknak dah susahkan mak nak fetch me up everyday.

tayar pancit, berkali-kali masa keje kyodo. bebudak production lah selalu jadi mangsa membetulkan.

banyak ni jasanya lelebih masa kyodo time. pegi balik puncak alam, kampung baru subang, setia alam, jalan duta, kl sentral, putrajaya. amboi. tak ke penang/sungai petani je langkahnya.

dis is indeed a tribute for my dad's kancil ni. photo taken on the day keter ni nak di-trade for a grey myvi. selepas almost 10 years of service.

go berkhidmat untuk keluarga orang lain pulak yer. tenkiu soo much for your trainings all dis while before i can afford to have my all new, baby fofi. mmmuahhh~~~

posted from Bloggeroid

let go, girl

just let go..

let him go..

let memories about him fade away..

don't look back in anger..

stop stalking him.

stop thinking about him.

stop regretting about the things we did, should not be done and stuffs.

he's just not worth of your sympathize.

does he ever find you after that to clarify all?

does he keep and try to fullfil his empty promises even before and after that?

he did say he knew the limit all, but then, he is the one who happily cross all the boundaries like nobody business, aite?

stop all this bullshit.

just stop.

if only he kept his promises, i will be the best girl-best-friend ever. but he refuse to get that in the first place pun.

and so..

i hope..

STOP.

posted from Bloggeroid

demam

ah sudah.

balik dari kota bharu n kuala terengganu ni, dah domam pulak dikejekan!

sakit tekak bagai. tak lalu nak bergerak. muntah pulak dah.

digagahkan jugak datang ke opis nak mengemas meja n buat claim si din ni. just tak dan lah nak buat oa search diorang ni. hukhuk.

pi klinik dr rosli. my temperature is 37.4 C. tinggi kot. dapat mc n bill mahalnye, rm 55. hukhuk.

so cuti lah sehari. sampai taktau nak buat apa kat umah ni dikejekan. grrr...

posted from Bloggeroid

kuala terengganu 1st day

ok. meh sini kasi kronologi pada hari kejadian. amboi.

pagi bertolak dari kota bharu stret masuk ke kuala terengganu la kekdahnya.

eh, bekpes dulu kat kota bharu. me tapau sikdagang gerai tepi jalan before makan di chinese restaurant

tapi, tapi... sebelum check-in hotel, kitorang lunch di batu rakit di kedai cina belakang kustem dulu. tomyam campur. kemaen kaya isi kandungannya. sedap pulak tu!



kendian, naik pulak ke tempat goreng-goreng belakang epot. makan at my place dulu. call en amey, he's having discussion in pulau duyung lah. call en kasa, stret gitu datang nye!

banyak la permasalahan dan cabaran menjadi seorang lecturer pada zaman kini diutarakan sebagai topik perbualan. jangan lupa, sembang ngan en kasa di kedai goreng-goreng yang lain! lagi sedap, lagi berbaloi. nombor 2 dari kiri, depan ada banyak buah kelapa. fresh summore!

banyak perubahan di sana. bangunan pun dah bertambah di kustem. pantai ditambak dengan pesat, plus ada benteng pemecah ombak gitu! tak dan la nak main pasir pantai bagai. jauh bebeno nak ke gigi air.

masuk ke bandar, check-in di k.t. traveller's inn. hotel bajet berdepan seri vista hotel? oh, lebih kurang la kot namanya. wohhhh~~~ patut pun ramai yang suka menginap di sini. harga pun murah, facilities pun bagus. our room rm79 untuk 2 katil single. bathroom, selesanya! astro tak berapa sangat n receptionist very the selow one. yang ni better improve. bukan sumorang lalu nak menunggu lama-lama okey?

around 9, masuk balik area seberang takir to get to restoran raf. owned by a someone. dah tak jumpa more than 5 years kot. purposedly went.

masuk bandar again. pi area chinatown. oh, rupanya belakang tu ada pulau warisan. muara sungai yang ditambak, berhadapan pulau duyung. a lot of pokok i-city di situ, sepanjang tepi laut tu. lepak-lepak sambil makan satay ikan. dapnye!

eh, suddenly budak yang i amikkan gamba tego kat twitter. dah sapa suruh pakai baju #octtwtfest dengan tuithandle tu? kehkehkeh.

sebelum masuk ke bilik, tapau tutti-frutti yang tak jauh berjalan kaki jaraknya from hotel. amboi kayanya!

balik tido n stat new day yang lebih mencabar tomorrow!

posted from Bloggeroid

sani ekspres

it's been long, since my last trip on a bus. laat sekali pegi utagha kot. menjenguk cik abang on his birthday. dat time keje gilo. pagi gerak from shah alam. petang sampai. tengah malam balik shah alam semula. hoho.

ni nak citer ni.

for my trip kelantan n terengganu ni ha. gua naik sani. i lurve it sebab tempat duduk spacious n boleh dapat single seat. as always la tu.

what i didn't know is..

dis bus equipped every seat available with a screen n earphone, lebih kurang macam long flight gitu. individually okey. banyak pula pilihannya. nak muvi boleh, music pun ada, al-quran pun wujud ha.

tapi yang paling tak boleh belah ialah..... teng teng tededeng!!! ada tempat plug nak cas hempon okey???

memang tak sia-sia la gua bawak charger dalam tote bag ni ha. sejurus selepas nampak tempat plug, menyambung la guwe. apa lagi tunggu??

n that supposed to mean that i can actually online all night long in the bus! kang satgi penuh, tutup suis. kang dekat-dekat nak sampai, on balik. at least kene ada sejam setengah nak fully charge! hoyeh.

later la hapdet belog lagi. i pun dah tukar attire to hoodie, lipat tudung elok-elok letak tepi. journey to the east yaw~~~

posted from Bloggeroid

stalk

kalau dah namanya pempuan kan. nak-nak pulak tau suma lubang celah bedah bagai. mau nyer tak stalk?

chill la wey~~

stalk buleh. terasa jangan.

mueh mueh.

posted from Bloggeroid

cuti

setelah dikira-kira, tambah tolak bahagi darab. my annual leave only left 10.5 days jer!

tolak cuti beijing dah amik 5 hari full in december.

kang satgi nak pi kampeni trip to bandung mebi amik 2/3 hari pulak.

cuti raya tu boleh tolak tepi, tak penting pun.

tapi dah mana pulak nak cekau lagi 5 hari cuti for istanbul trip?

jugak mana lah nak cari duit for that trip? even my beijing pun lom stat mengumpul lagi. supposedly nak simpan dis month salary, tapi nak ke terengganu and kelantan next week, then dah habes bajet.

grrrr... dah cane ni?? o_O

posted from Bloggeroid

talk to the hand

don't talk about morale with me.

you doesn't even respect me in the first place. neither appreciate having me in your life.

do you even care or at least make efforts to care for me? i maybe not looked that innocent enough, but i am still a girl though.

letting me using the dark highway in the middle of the night, alone with blinking red petrol tank?

letting me wait for your pickup for more than an hour to know that i can't even have my dinner in the end of the day when actually your place is not that far from the pick-up point?

keep blaming me like nobody's business when you are the one to take responsible for that?

no exact directions and planning of meeting me almost everytime?

used up my resources to the max and never bother to refund, or at least some compensate?

do things that i hate in the whole life, when in the first place, you said that you know the limitations?

don't even care to remember where the hell is my office, even though that is the same place of my drop-point?

just looked good and pious outside n so shamefully not as good as the inside? well, i rest my case then.

i don't ask for anything all along our friendship. wait, are there even any 'ship' existed between us?

like, why don't you not treated me like your friends, i mean normal friends.

my mistake is to let this relationship happened. this is not right in the end eventually.

oh yes. you too, keep bashing me on twitter without a pause. like, i'm the bad guy and your the goddess aite?

i made all my efforts to make this work as a friendship. but sadly, you don't see that way.

i should have walked away, the moment that you touched my hand. coz it not worth a wait.

posted from Bloggeroid

car as liability

kereta ialah liability. kereta bukan aset. kenapa?

sebab liability ialah belian secara hire-purchase yang akhirnya value kereta tu akan menurun dan semakin menurun kalau penah eksiden. kereta ni tak macam rumah, di mana nilai hartanah meningkat, nak-nak kalau lokasi hartanah tu sangat-sangat strategik.

pendek kata, liability secara konsepnya ialah pemilikan harta yang kurang berbaloi sebagai pelaburan.

sehubungan itu, sebagai orang muda, antara faktor yang perlu diambil kira dalam memilih kereta untuk dijadikan liability, dalam contoh ni, untuk dibeli lah include these:

1. the typical factors of design, size, branding, price, kemampuan downpayment, loan approve dan bayar bulan-bulan. money play very important role for this.

2. performance, stability, features, petrol dan kehendak bukan keperluan. yang ni please pegi test-drive? kenapa? sebab nak biasakan handling system n to confirm what you want is what you get. don't worry lah. kalau ada duit, semua boleh dapat. tip-top as per your budget. wah gituuu.

3. dis factor is i felt quite ridiculous, key? the second value of the car. why? because people nowadays tend to drag the installment years, up to the maximum. latest i knew, government servants boleh buat sampai 10 tahun, whilst others only up to 9. tu tak masuk dengan skipping payment, atau kete hampir-hampir kene tarik sebab tak bayar bank. yedak?

maybe like most people gonna have this one car until they finished paying installments n dah malas nak buat loan baru to buy new car. or perhaps, orang yang family besar akan beli kereta lebih besar eg. mpv for comfortability in the future but that is other story. ehem.

berbalik kepada point tadi, just go for a better value for money car, rather than fikirkan second value. go choose one yang baik in your budget in order to have your own car. because car is like second home. you spend most of your time in the day, in your car.

account tips to buy one is beli during raya puasa promotions. selalunya ada rebate n macam-macam free gift. go bargain for free tinted sebab tint is quite expensive n biasanya yang free gift tu come in good quality. another one, try to buy di hujung tahun. ada satu account trick di situ, but later la tu. hoho..

ok la. good luck memilih kereta! :)

posted from Bloggeroid

fedap!

i really really really tired bawak mat myvi ni weh!

gear ketat. susah nak belen minyak/clutch. lambat pickup. kete mengaum-ngaum.

i ni takut betul eksiden bagai ni. trauma kot.

tapi kekdahnye kepenatan mengawal si mat yang sorang ni.

cepat la baby sembuh. alah, walaupun takdela sakit sangat. tapi nak biar bebetul baik klip belakang tu. hukhuk.

posted from Bloggeroid

travel

kadang tu jeles jugak dengan orang yang banyak travel ni. lagi-lagi yang selalu terbang obersi.

tapi. kita kene tengok nature of job jugak la. ada tu memang kampeni selalu suruh terbang, mebi nak suruh tengok teknologi di negara orang ke cane.

ada jugak yang terbang atas kapasiti seorang so-called student. atau blaja yang taknak habis-habis.

haruslah banyak masa kalau nak compare with people yang betul-betul keje 9-5 ni kan?

bukan senang nak cuti walaupun cuti banyak. workaholic summore. banyak tu nak saving-saving. yedak?

for me, my cuti is for rest. but if travel, it gonna means betul-betul menikmati travel. means menyimpan tu kene ketat ikut planning dibuatnya.

ever since i've got my baby fofi ni agak sempit sket perbelanjaan bulanan. tak sabar nak tunggu 5 years to go for loan kete habis!

bonus will go half, or perhaps soon to be quarter and less for the roadtax n insurance alone n nanti kene menyimpan the same amount for car maintenance.

by the time loan kete habis, i'm gonna pay hutang kat mak mebi for a year, then walla~~ free from debts! luckily i don't rely on credit card for my spendings.

sekarang aim hanya nak habeskan loan repayment je. hoyeh!

posted from Bloggeroid

i am lejen!

ehee..

saje lah nak sapot lejen press.

ritu lah si linglung pass ke piah masa belikan #kopi then dendeting ngan ai plak pastu.

hoyeahh~~

posted from Bloggeroid

justify

please don't ask me to justify, why i like you.

i have no answer for that, the same goes to: i don't have the key to your heart.

i should have left, long time ago, but i stay. just to accompany you, supposedly as a friend.

but you being you, repeatingly treated me as a lover, a so-called girlfriend and this is not right.

and i leave, the one decision that i once took, refund it and do it again. i just can't stand this test.

before it leave a scar deeply in me, this is the correct decision. for us.

go to your loved ones. i don't even push you to the ravine and as far as i concern, you're not even die yet.

if we ever meet again in the future, just remember i have once occupied ghascandalous that i am the same person deep-inside-heart.

you once a special ones :)

posted from Bloggeroid

update baby fofi

so abah pun bawak la baby fofi ke mekanik belakang. apparently, they kenot do sebab takde barang.

so-oooo, dia bawak la ke 24. tempat cina buat during the 1st eksiden of baby fofi.


surprisingly, no charges for this! yeayyy~~~

meanwhile, merehatkan la baby fofi di umah n i'm gonna drive dis mat myvi to work for this week or liddat la.

gud jugak la eceli. untuk merendahkan ego. lol.

posted from Bloggeroid

eksiden

pepagi n i got sooo sleepy, yet still kena pi opis. homai.

to use damansara jaya exit bawah fly-over.

pandang kanan, nampak budak moto sorang.

ding-dong ding-dong. ah sudah, terpeleot pulak dah moto ni jatuh atas jalan.

yang lagi best tu, bangggg to my car. driver-side, belakang tayar.

dengar macam kuat bebeno. macam besar je impact tu.

mebi my baby fofi nyer badan quite tough n tak teruk sangat.

klip belakang tempat eksiden dulu tercabut n ada scratchhh di bawah sket.

sebbek la baby kaler grey n scratch pun kaler grey.

abah cakap nanti tunggu hantar kat ford for 20k service suh diorang betulkan sekali.

jatuh

ku pergi, sendiri.. dan takkan kembali
maafkan segala perbuatan ku kepada mu

ku pergi, sendiri.. dan takkan kembali
teman aku buat kali terakhir
aku akan jatuh

x-fm

how to say, emm...

i do listen to xfm a lot these days.

mostly in the car, to-and-back from office. masa buat homework.

jangan nak teriak sangat lah kalau tuit i tu cam lain macam bunyi nya.

sometime i just tuit benda yang kuar kat redio tu.

harap maklong. sekian.

muahahaha..

blog baru

helo there!

ini blog yang entah ke-berapa, takde lah eden nak mengira nyer yobb~~

dis is the blog that i will state in my twitter.

n hopefully to update more frequently. lulz.

sesuai dengan nama nyer, buku tiga lima. macam-macam lah kekdah nyer kot.

see ya soon. hikhik. :)